Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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