Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
