North Korea, Best Korea!
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize