hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Holy shit dude........stairs
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
