you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I could make wine with my vomit
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
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