I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
