Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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