hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize