I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Randomize
