wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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