There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
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