Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
