I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize