I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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