Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
