He is an equal opportunity slut.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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