she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
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