Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
i wish my penis had a tongue
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
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