I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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