Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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