I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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