Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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