She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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