He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
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