the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
