does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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