doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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