All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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