Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
