I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
