I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
