Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
