the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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