Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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