Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
