With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Randomize
