$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
