Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
This is classic penis vs brain.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
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