you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Randomize
