If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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