I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
