saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
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