I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
