My Higher Power is John Stamos
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I lost the right to judge tonight
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
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