I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
i out mim tonsoeep
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