he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
