I wannas sexs uuuuu
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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