You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Randomize
