So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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