if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
time to smoke my breakfast
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I smell like Dick and happiness
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
