Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
