first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
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