I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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