I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Randomize
