He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Randomize