I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
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