Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
We need to rekindle our bromance
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Randomize
