we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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