i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
vagina is talking i cant
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
