omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
